How Using Food as Reward Can Impact Your Child’s Relationship with Food

Instrumental eating (IE), or using food as reward or punishment, is a common technique that many parents use to incentivize certain behaviors in their children. As a dietitian who works mainly with parents and families to promote healthy relationships with food, health, and body image in children as they grow up, I hear about this in practice all the time, and understand why this habit is so challenging to break. However, in this blog, I want to demonstrate that using food as reward or punishment can have some more damaging effects on a child’s relationship with food long-term, and provide you the background and resources you need to ditch IE once and for all.

I want to first start by emphasizing that I understand the challenges of raising children. You want your kids to eat their vegetables, you want to get through a grocery store run without a meltdown, you want your kids to sit through a meal and finish in a reasonable amount of time. And for many, the easiest way of making those things happen – the incentive of a sweet treat or special food. But, could that be doing more harm than we realize? Let’s take a look at some of the research on this topic and dig a little deeper into the long-term implications of instrumental eating.

Emotional Eating

There is a growing body of evidence that demonstrates practices, like IE, may have a negative impact on the relationships our children are building with food. When I talk to parents about their own relationship with food, the most common struggle I hear is related to emotional eating. Could this challenge be associated with instrumental eating? Research seems to suggest so.

In one study, researchers gathered information from parents about the eating behaviors of their children at age six and age eight. Questionnaires were collected twice during the study, once at the start, and again, two years later. There were 797 questionnaires collected at the beginning of the of the study when the children were six years old, and two years later, questionnaires were collected on behalf of 689 of these same children. The questionnaires asked parents a multitude of questions about their child’s eating behaviors, from their ability to self-regulate their appetite, to how quickly they ate, to whether or not they ate when they were feeling upset. Parents were also asked to answer questions related to their feeding practices, which included questions about their use of IE.

Notably, analysis of the data showed that the children whose parents used instrumental eating practices with them at age six, showed increased food responsiveness and greater emotional eating response at age eight. In comparison, general feeding encouragement from parents at age six was associated with greater enjoyment of food at age eight.

Steinsbekk S, Belsky J, Wichstrøm L. Parental Feeding and Child Eating: An Investigation of Reciprocal Effects. Child Dev. 2016 Sep;87(5):1538-49. doi: 10.1111/cdev.12546. Epub 2016 May 7. PMID: 27154834.

Appetite Dysregulation

Another study, researchers asked parents of preschool-aged children to complete a similar questionnaire that asked questions about their feeding practices and their child’s eating behaviors. After analyzing the results from 254 surveys, the researchers determined that using food as reward was associated with a child’s diminished ability to self-regulate their appetite, which can lead to emotional eating and overeating.

Powell EM, Frankel LA, Hernandez DC. The mediating role of child self-regulation of eating in the relationship between parental use of food as a reward and child emotional overeating. Appetite. 2017 Jun 1;113:78-83. doi: 10.1016/j.appet.2017.02.017. Epub 2017 Feb 16. PMID: 28215543.

While these studies did not show any causal relationship (meaning that the study was not meant to show cause and effect) between IE and emotional eating/appetite dysregulation, these findings do make sense. When we use food to incentivize good behavior, we may be encouraging children to ignore their feelings at any given moment to later receive food as a coping mechanism. When we use food to incentivize kids finishing dinner or eating their vegetables, we may be telling them to ignore their own feelings of fullness and to continue to eat regardless. So, while the practice of IE can be effective at the moment, there may be some risk that this habit can throw healthy food relationships out of whack.

Future Behaviors

The practice of IE with kids has also been studied in relation to the food decisions they make as they get older. For example, one study found that children were more likely to choose high sugar and high fat foods as they got older, if parents used IE, or used food to regulate emotions. This was also associated with parents who pressured the child to eat more food, or who put strict restrictions on unhealthy food options.

Vollmer RL, Baietto J. Practices and preferences: Exploring the relationships between food-related parenting practices and child food preferences for high fat and/or sugar foods, fruits, and vegetables. Appetite. 2017 Jun 1;113:134-140. doi: 10.1016/j.appet.2017.02.019. Epub 2017 Feb 21. PMID: 28235620.

These potentially long-term effects may cause additional challenges for parents trying to keep their children healthy and happy as they get older. However, the good news is that these outcomes can be prevented by adopting new habits.

IE Alternatives

I conducted a poll with my followers on Instagram, and found some interesting results. I found that:

  • 71% are using food as reward techniques with their kids (n = 84)
  • Approximately 44% of parents are using food as reward for incentivizing good behavior, 15% are using food to encourage kids to eat their veggies, 11% are using food to encourage kids to finish meals, and 28% are using food as incentive for some ‘other’ reason (n = 87)
  • 71% of parents are using food as reward on rare occasions, while the remaining 29% use it often (n = 110)

And last, there was an overwhelming consensus that parents were open to alternatives to IE (97%; n = 119).

For those of you who are ready to say goodbye to instrumental eating, you’re in the right place. Just like any other lifestyle change, I recommend we start slow and with intention. Below, you’ll find a self-paced framework that you can use to phase out IE, and introduce new habits into your home:

Step 1: Commit to a flexible and forgiving mindset. The circumstances in which parents use IE are often more stressful or frustrating (think meltdowns in the grocery store or the 10th night in a row your child refuses a food they loved a month ago), which can make introducing new habits a little challenging. Expect that this new trial may not be as effective when starting out, and that there may be some days where you want to throw your hands up in the air and revert back to old habits. That is OK. Practice and consistency is the name of the game, not perfection.

Step 2: Begin to explore your child’s non-food motivation. What do they like best? What makes them excited? Write out a list of non-food incentives that you may be able to utilize in place of the foods you were previously using, and keep the list accessible.

Step 3: Trial non-food incentives, one at a time. They may not feel as effective in encouraging the behavior you’re hoping for, at first. That is expected in the beginning, for kids who are used to the usual food incentive. Be patient, and be open to trying different approaches to see which option works best. Here are some non-food incentives that might be helpful to try out with your child:

  • Verbal affirmation or encouragement – research shows that this may not be as effective for kids who are used to food as reward, though it may work well if your kids aren’t quite used to instrumental eating
  • An extra book read to them at night
  • Stickers
  • Craft supplies for a creative project
  • Staying up a little past bedtime
  • An extra 15 minutes of playtime
  • An extra 15 minutes of computer or tablet time
  • To choose the movie the family watches
  • 1-on-1 time with mom/dad/family member

Use this three-step framework to slowly phase out IE, and help your child build up a healthy relationship with food. For those of you who still may need some extra help in working through this framework and unlearning old food habits, I recommend one-on-one support! As a Pediatric Dietitian and Body Positivity Coach, I work with families to help build lifelong, healthy relationships with food. Fill out my 1:1 Coaching Application to get started, and I will reach out within 24-48 hours for a free consultation!

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