If you’re making efforts to raise body positive kids, I’m sure you’re all too aware of the challenges that make this task feel like an uphill battle. Diet culture, social media, the influence of others, unrealistic beauty standards, fatphobia, and the list goes on… I think it’s fair to say that this is the biggest challenge that parents face as they help their child learn to develop healthy relationships with food and self-image. Sometimes we cannot prevent the influence of the outside world, despite all our good intentions. Unfortunately, I can’t give you any advice on how to control that actions and perspectives of others.
However, what I can do, is teach you the skills you need to identify the red flag language and behavior that may be signs of a worsening problem. When kids begin to struggle with their relationships with food and self-image, there are a wide spectrum of problems that may arise. For the purposes of this blog, I want to focus specifically on the more consequential problems – disordered eating and eating disorders. Identifying the red flags of disordered eating and eating disorders, and being able to confidently address these concerns with your child is an important skill to learn as a parent. Early intervention in disordered eating behaviors is essential, as it may help prevent the progression of disordered eating behaviors as well as the physical and psychological consequences.
While they may sound interchangeable, there are some significant differences between disordered eating behaviors, and an eating disorder.
Disordered eating behaviors are fairly common. While it would be ideal to eliminate these behaviors, they aren’t necessarily cause for immediate and extreme concern. Disordered eating behaviors may be synonymous with having a poor relationship with food.
In comparison, an eating disorder is a dangerous, and sometimes fatal, condition that affects a person’s eating behaviors. Additionally, these behaviors tend to be more severe and consistent, and are often accompanied by emotional and psychological distress. There are many manifestations of eating disorders, that may include:
Eating disorders affect around 9% of the population worldwide, and affect individuals of all age, race, gender, and size. Additionally, it is likely that disordered eating behaviors affect even more individuals. For example, a study conducted back in 2008 determined that 75% of American women aged 25-45 reported at least one disordered eating or eating disorder behavior.
It’s important to be able to curb these behaviors as early as possible, which is why I want to provide you the insight to recognize the warning signs, and appropriately redirect red flag language and behavior in your child.
Like many other health conditions, the sooner we can begin treatment the better. Disordered eating and eating disorders are no different. I want to provide you a list of warning signs that you can look out for, in the case that your child’s behavior progresses towards an eating disorder. The more prepared you are, the more likely you are to catch it sooner!
Possible signs and symptoms of disordered eating:
Possible signs and symptoms of eating disorders:
There are many more signs and symptoms that may manifest if your child struggles with an eating disorder. Check out the National Eating Disorders Association’s full list to familiarize yourself thoroughly.
Your children may exhibit obvious signs that their relationship with food and body image is worsening. However, this is not always the case. I wanted to list some common red flag statements that may be indicative of disordered eating behaviors, so you can recognize the early signs of a progressing problem.
Look out for statements like:
“I’m so fat.”
“I can’t eat that, I will gain weight.”
“I’m going to eat this without the bun/bread.”
“I’m just not hungry in the morning anymore.”
“I just can’t stop eating.”
“I’m so bad.”
“I need to go on a diet.”
“I wish I was skinnier.”
“If I’m going to have dessert, I need to workout before.”
These statements may vary depending on the scenario and child. However, you may notice there are trends that become easy to identify when you look a little closer. Keep an eye out for feelings of shame or guilt around food and body-image. Notice when your children start to set food and exercise rules for themselves.
Sadly, these behaviors are not all that uncommon. As kids grow up, they tend to adopt the food rules and behaviors of those around them – learning from adults who regularly diet, from the bullies at school who tease others for their size, and even school curriculum that tries to reinforce healthy behaviors, but instead may cause fixation on calories and sugar. The good news is that once you can identify this red flag language, you can redirect and reeducate your kids. Let’s now explore some of the DO’s and DON’TS of redirecting red flag language and behavior as it comes up.
It is not easy to address these red flag behaviors in your kids. Parents tell me all the time,
“I know I need to say something, but I don’t know what to say. I’m worried I’m going to make them feel bad, or make things even worse.”
We have already established the importance of identifying these red flags in your child’s language and behavior, and why it’s imperative to address the signs of disordered eating and eating disorders early on. When it comes to redirecting and reeducating, here are some general pointers that may help guide your approach and make these tough conversations just a little bit easier.
DO
DO NOT
It can feel devastating when your child’s relationship with food and body-image becomes damaged. However, as a parent, you have the opportunity to prevent further damage, and to heal what has been broken. Familiarize yourself with the signs of disordered eating and eating disorders, demonstrate your ability to listen and empathize with the difficult feelings that are coming up for your children, and always be open to getting further help when things feel out of your grasp.
If your child is facing mounting struggles with food and body-image, and you feel unsure how to best help them, it can be helpful to recruit additional support. While I don’t treat eating disorders, I do:
If you are looking for support, I offer free consultations to help you get started. Please don’t hesitate to reach out at rileytherd@balancedlifenutritionconsulting.com. Let’s work together to build up a future generation of body positive, healthy kids!
